Tino Sunseri was arrested late Monday afternoon inside of Sun Life Stadium, the site of the 2013 BCS National Championship game, for breaking and entering. Sunseri was seen wearing an Alabama number three jersey in custody of Florida State police.
“We found the suspect in the visiting team locker room putting on pads and this number three jersey,” said Jim Franks, Florida chief of police. “We are continuing to gather information.”
The equipment that Tino was putting on belonged to his brother Vinnie, who plays safety for Alabama.
“My asshat brother thinks he’s so much better than me,” said Tino in a phone interview from a Miami prison. “All he did over Christmas was show off his BCS National Championship patch and talk about Notre Dame’s offense. That little bitch doesn’t even know how to sew… oh BUT MOM was MORE than happy to sow it right on to his jersey for him.”
We learned that Tino was planning on starting the game at safety and then using a mind trick that he learned on the Internet to convince Nick Saban to let him play quarterback in the second half.
We caught up with a very angry Vinnie Sunseri before the game to get his thoughts. “He sent me an e-mail telling me that the game was moved to Jacksonville, he spelled ‘Florida’ wrong.”