We caught up with various Pittsburgh athletes and collected their New Years resolutions. Sidney Crosby: “when are the winter olympics coming back? I wanna do that again.” Ben Roethlisberger: “to stop all rape jokes, to make the playoffs next season… oh yeah and also to be a good dad and shit” Andrew McCutchen: “I’m gonna steal more bases… like literally steal more of the Pirates bases… they really freakin’ jewed me on that contract last year, I’m gonna get back
Antonio Brown grounded after fumbling lamp
by: Ben Oviatt (@BenOviatt17) Pittsburgh Steelers officials are reporting that wide receiver/punt returner Antonio Brown will be inactive for Sunday’s game against the Bengals after breaking a lamp in his family’s home in North Hills. Brown, who surrendered a costly fumble late in last week’s game against Dallas, has been grounded indefinitely by his mother after dropping the antique while “horsing around” Friday afternoon. “I’ve told him a million times to stop playing in the house,” said Brown’s mother. “What
Jeff Reed knows he could have made that kick
by: Ben Oviatt (@BenOviatt17) Former Steelers kicker Jeff Reed, released by the team in 2010, claims that he would have “for sure” nailed the 54-yard attempt by Shaun Suisham that fell just short in Sunday’s loss to the Cincinnati Bengals. The visibly intoxicated Reed, who now spends Sundays at Mario’s South Side Saloon in Pittsburgh, assured fellow patrons that he had “definitely hit tons of field goals longer than that,” and that letting him go was the biggest mistake the
Big Ben gets one-upped
by: Patrick Reddick In response to Ben Roethlisberger’s comments that the Pittsburgh Steelers are “The World’s Team”, Xalon Vadu now claims that the Kinfluffle Cube is clearly “The Galaxy’s Team.” “With the support the Steelers receive throughout the Earth, [Roethlisberger’s] comments are understandable,” Vadu told reporters Tuesday, “but their fan base fades quickly if you look at the larger picture.” The Cube plays their home games on ARZ17-2—a planet located in the NGC 2099 cluster of the Milky Way, about
Tomlin blames poor play on end of the world
by: Justin Dunio The Pittsburgh Steelers have some work to do to salvage the 2012 football season. The team has last 4 of their last 5 games, but can still squeak into the playoffs by winning their final two games. However, the team appears to be playing with a total lack of effort and focus. Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin claims the impending end of the world has a lot to do with their lack of success. The Pierogi interviewed
Long winter for Pittsburgh sports fans
by: BJ Anderson Yinzers are preparing for a long winter. With the Steelers recent struggles, they are either going to miss the playoffs or be an early exit. The NHL is in the midst of another full season lockout. This is leaving Pittsburghers scrambling for a sports fix. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll just watch all the classic Pirates games on ROOT on Mondays,” explained one frustrated fan, “at least you know they’re gonna win.” Others are looking elsewhere. Pitt
Jerome Bettis still upset about Thanksgiving coin toss
Jerome Bettis stormed out of an NBC staff meeting on Tuesday, reportedly because of anger he is still dealing with over the 1998 Thanksgiving overtime coin toss incident. Sunday’s overtime contest with the Cowboys and Steelers apparently brought back poor memories for Bettis. “Fourteen worst years of my life,” was all we could get out of Bettis. Phil Luckett, the referee who was to blame for the miscall all those years ago, was remorseful when we caught up with him.
Mock draft projects Steelers to take Roethlisberger Jr.
by: Max Fogle In his first mock draft of the year, ESPN analyst Todd McShay predicted the Pittsburgh Steelers would take Benjamin Roethlisberger Jr. with their first selection in the NFL Draft. While there has been some question as to what position the youngster will play at the professional level, McShay says that teams will ultimately view him as a quarterback, the position his father plays for the Steelers. “Roethlisberger Jr. may not have elite size (1’8”, 8lbs), but we’ve
Steve McLendon interrupts press conference, ranks Pittsburgh pizza joints
Steelers defensive end Steve McLendon interrupted Mike Tomlin’s press conference after practice to rattle off a list of his favorite pizza joints around the city. Reports say that Tomlin had just fielded his first question and was looking for another when McLendon barged into the room, pushed him off his chair, took the microphone, and listed his five favorite places to eat pizza in Pittsburgh in an extremely loud voice. We were able to recover the list from our audio
Mendenhall blames no-show on tryptophan
by: Justin Dunio Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall has been suspended one game for conduct detrimental to the team. Mendenhall reportedly was not present for the San Diego game after being informed by Mike Tomlin that he wouldn’t be on the active roster for the game. Mendenhall claims that the incident is a big misunderstanding. “Since I was not going to be playing the game, I figured I’d arrive at the stadium close to game time. I sat down on
