The Pittsburgh Power are getting ready for their third season and looking to get ticket sales back to where they were in their inaugural season. The team had a disappointing 2011-2012 campaign, missing the playoffs and seeing their average attendance drop to 7.3 fans per game. The team finished with at least one win, we asked all over town and nobody actually knew the team’s record. “They won that one game I think… yeah” said one Power season ticket holder.

Team part-owners Matt Shaner and Lynn Swann have brought in some new players as they try to make their case to keep the team in Pittsburgh for awhile longer. Former Steelers linebacker Jack Lambert was signed in the offseason and will be an anchor on the defensive side of the ball for the Power. “Lambert brings experience and veteran leadership,” said Swann “and I think a lot of people want to see him play again… I mean it’s been awhile, the guy is really old”. Swann and Shaner later admitted that the move was made strictly for ticket sales and that they are checking up on the league’s policy on player’s playing in wheelchairs.

The Sparks, the Power’s sideline dancing team will also be wearing significantly less clothing this year. “This move has nothing to do with demographic targeting or revenue, we just really thought that children in Africa needed the clothes more than our dancers,” said Shaner. Captain of the Sparks Kara Kline was not happy when she heard the news. “Wait they’re taking our uniforms? Does that mean they’re going to start paying us? Because the leotards were all we got last year.” Shaner laughed when asked if they will provide financial compensation for the Sparks in the upcoming season.

In addition to all of this, the Power will be making some promotional changes. They promise to have the monkeys riding sheep dog show return this year, and they will be letting one lucky fan play quarterback during each home game. Swann also revealed the team’s new slogan: “Pittsburgh Power, half the field, twice the beer prices”.