by: Ben Oviatt (@BenOviatt17) Pittsburgh Steelers officials are reporting that wide receiver/punt returner Antonio Brown will be inactive for Sunday’s game against the Bengals after breaking a lamp in his family’s home in North Hills. Brown, who surrendered a costly fumble late in last week’s game against Dallas, has been grounded indefinitely by his mother after dropping the antique while “horsing around” Friday afternoon. “I’ve told him a million times to stop playing in the house,” said Brown’s mother. “What
Liriano tears labrum trying to become ambidextrous 
Rico Fata still awaiting return to Penguins 
Tino Sunseri arrested inside of Sun Life Stadium 
NHL fans working hard to get back in mid-season heckling form 
Pirates discussing Giancarlo Stanton with Marlins 
Local filmmaker gets Oscar nod for ‘BUCN’ 
Lockout report: Evgeni Malkin 
Boston fan dubs Hanrahan’s innings “hammatime”
by: Patrick Reddick (@pmreddick) After learning he had been traded to the Red Sox earlier in the day, Boston-native Steve Fawley has decided to dub the innings pitched by the team’s latest addition, Joel Hanrahan, “hammatime.” “It’s good cause it has a similarity to his name,” said Fawley, 27, who works at a local bar where he catches most Red Sox games. “Usually that’s a good indicator that other fans will enjoy it when he comes in to pitch.” Fawley
Jeff Reed knows he could have made that kick
by: Ben Oviatt (@BenOviatt17) Former Steelers kicker Jeff Reed, released by the team in 2010, claims that he would have “for sure” nailed the 54-yard attempt by Shaun Suisham that fell just short in Sunday’s loss to the Cincinnati Bengals. The visibly intoxicated Reed, who now spends Sundays at Mario’s South Side Saloon in Pittsburgh, assured fellow patrons that he had “definitely hit tons of field goals longer than that,” and that letting him go was the biggest mistake the
Geneva men’s volleyball program gets the death penalty
Horrible news coming out of Beaver County today, as the Geneva men’s volleyball program has been handed the death penalty due to a player accepting a free ice cream cone in town. Chris Truman, front left hitter for the team, was at Old Jerry’s Dairy Delights with his buddies after the conclusion of the fall semester and reportedly accepted a free mint chocolate ice cream cone. The NCAA got their hands on this news and after some thought, decided to
Pirates agree to let Liriano bring his goldfish to the ballpark
The Pittsburgh Pirates signed left handed starting pitcher Francisco Liriano to a two-year deal, apparently with the help of some rule-bending involving pets in the locker room. “I’m happy to be a Pirate,” started Liriano in his press conference. “I love the city, the ballpark, and I think this team is ready to do something big. Oh… yeah also they said I could bring my goldfish to the ballyard for home games. It’s weird how many teams have rules about
Gary Bettman to take nap until January 14th
Gary Bettman got really tired on Thursday afternoon and decided that he was going to take a 25 day nap, something he commonly does once to twice a year. With this news comes the report that the NHL will not be able to progress any further in labor talks while Bettman is dozing, consequently canceling games until mid-January. “Can’t wait to wake up and cash my checks!” was all we could get out of Bettman.
Huntington “inspired” by Marlins, D-Backs
by: Ben Oviatt In the wake of a pair of offseason moves by the Miami Marlins and Arizona Diamondbacks, Pirates General Manager Neal Huntington says that he is “inspired” to deal some of the team’s star players for prospects and middle relievers. “Just look at what Michael (Hill) has already done in Miami, sending Reyes, Buehrle and Johnson to Toronto and Hanley Ramirez to Los Angeles. They got almost nothing in return. Those are the kind of moves you need
Craig Wilson experiences alopecia
Former Pirates first baseman Craig Wilson is having a tougher time now than ever dealing with his retirement from baseball. Wilson left the Pirates in the middle of the 2006 season and saw his Major League career end at the end of the 2007 season. “It’s been five long years for me since retirement,” said Wilson in an exclusive interview. “For the first three years I got through it without any problems because of the great hair I had. I
Big Ben gets one-upped
by: Patrick Reddick In response to Ben Roethlisberger’s comments that the Pittsburgh Steelers are “The World’s Team”, Xalon Vadu now claims that the Kinfluffle Cube is clearly “The Galaxy’s Team.” “With the support the Steelers receive throughout the Earth, [Roethlisberger’s] comments are understandable,” Vadu told reporters Tuesday, “but their fan base fades quickly if you look at the larger picture.” The Cube plays their home games on ARZ17-2—a planet located in the NGC 2099 cluster of the Milky Way, about
Tomlin blames poor play on end of the world
by: Justin Dunio The Pittsburgh Steelers have some work to do to salvage the 2012 football season. The team has last 4 of their last 5 games, but can still squeak into the playoffs by winning their final two games. However, the team appears to be playing with a total lack of effort and focus. Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin claims the impending end of the world has a lot to do with their lack of success. The Pierogi interviewed
