by: Brandon Posa Upon hearing that the second NHL lockout in less than ten years is finally over, forward Rico Fata is still holding on to the notion from the Penguins that he would return in a top-six role once the first lockout had ended. “[Former Penguins GM] Craig Patrick told me that as soon as the owners ‘cleaned up this mess eh’ with the players, Coach Olczyk would bring me into training camp and I would have a spot
NHL fans working hard to get back in mid-season heckling form
By Ben Oviatt (@BenOviatt17) When the NHL lockout ended early Sunday morning, the league’s stars weren’t the only ones scrambling to get ready for the shortened season. Many local fans have been frantically trying to prepare themselves to heckle opposing players on short notice. “Usually, you have an entire training camp to come up with new insults, get information about players’ families, stuff like that,” said Gibsonia resident Jeff Christiansen. “There’s no room to be sloppy in a 48-game season.
Lockout report: Evgeni Malkin
by: Ben Oviatt With no end to the NHL lockout in sight, we decided it was time to check in on one of Pittsburgh’s favorite players, Evgeni Malkin, and see how he has been handling the lockout in his native Russia. So far, Geno has tallied 19 goals and 40 assists in 35 games while playing with Metallurg Magnitogorsk of the Kontinental Hockey League. Head coach Paul Maurice says that Malkin seems to be in good shape and is playing
Pittsburgh athletes make their New Years resolutions
We caught up with various Pittsburgh athletes and collected their New Years resolutions. Sidney Crosby: “when are the winter olympics coming back? I wanna do that again.” Ben Roethlisberger: “to stop all rape jokes, to make the playoffs next season… oh yeah and also to be a good dad and shit” Andrew McCutchen: “I’m gonna steal more bases… like literally steal more of the Pirates bases… they really freakin’ jewed me on that contract last year, I’m gonna get back
Gary Bettman to take nap until January 14th
Gary Bettman got really tired on Thursday afternoon and decided that he was going to take a 25 day nap, something he commonly does once to twice a year. With this news comes the report that the NHL will not be able to progress any further in labor talks while Bettman is dozing, consequently canceling games until mid-January. “Can’t wait to wake up and cash my checks!” was all we could get out of Bettman.
Long winter for Pittsburgh sports fans
by: BJ Anderson Yinzers are preparing for a long winter. With the Steelers recent struggles, they are either going to miss the playoffs or be an early exit. The NHL is in the midst of another full season lockout. This is leaving Pittsburghers scrambling for a sports fix. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll just watch all the classic Pirates games on ROOT on Mondays,” explained one frustrated fan, “at least you know they’re gonna win.” Others are looking elsewhere. Pitt
Local man gives up on hockey, watches an NBA game
by: Ben Oviatt A Beaver Falls man says that he has officially “had it up to here” with the NHL lockout, and will begin tuning in to NBA games to pass the time between Steeler Sundays. “At this point it’s just ridiculous,” said Robert Boyer while watching Friday’s contest between the Denver Nuggets and the Memphis Grizzlies. “This is what Bettman and the owners have brought us to. Watching BASKETBALL for heaven’s sake. And just what the hell is a
Marc-Andre Fleury goes back to school, immediately drops out
Pittsburgh Penguins goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury decided to make the best out of the NHL’S lockout by going back to school this fall. Fleury’s plan was to start a two-year plan to get an associate’s degree in sports marketing from Cegep de Chicoutimi, a University in Quebec. However, reports are now surfacing that Fleury never so much as completed one day of study, dropping out just three minutes into his first class. “Yeah I sat down in that class and I
Tyler Kennedy healthy scratch from pond hockey game
By Max Fogle – ONTARIO, CANADA – In just the latest event in what’s been a frustrating season for Pittsburgh Penguin Tyler Kennedy, the winger was scratched from his neighborhood team’s most recent pond hockey game. Kennedy’s coach, and father Rob Kennedy said that Tyler was not injured and implied that he was trying to send a message to the team’s underperforming third liner. “When we picked Tyler, we were hoping he could produce for us, considering he’s played in
Evgeni Malkin to release Christmas album
by: Ben Oviatt Penguins officials announced Wednesday that the team’s star center, Evgeni Malkin, has plans to release a Christmas album just in time for the holiday season. We here at the Pierogi were fortunate enough to receive an advanced copy of the track list, which features such classics as: Jingle Goal Rock Fleury the Red-Faced Goaler I Saw Mother Kissing Sid the Kid Ovechkin Got Run Over by a Reindeer All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front
